202/365

Yesterday my family received the kind of news no one wants to hear; of a boy, dead at his own hands at the age of 14.  It made me turn the outside world off, including any photos, and I spent the night with tangible things I could touch and feel and know to be true, even for just the moment of one night. 

I'm not sure what to do with today.  Life carries on with all its emotional high and lows and sometimes they all seem to be rolled into one day.  Hope you all are surrounded by those you love, and please tell them that you do. 

Dear 2133,

I wonder if you will ever know just how much I have loved you.
Sincerely,
Slowly Letting Go

182/365

 

 



 

I hope that you are well

and happy

loved

and happily satisfied

exactly where you are

I hope you are spending every moment

engrossed

in the very spot that you stand

With love

On this day.

We are all wonderful, beautiful wrecks. 

That's what connects us -

that we're all broken,

all beautifully imperfect.

-Emilio Estevez

174/365

Already

Already

I am letting go

 

With each blossom that unfurls to my eyes

and each petal that falls to my feet

loved ferociously these passing years

the possibility of leaving them behind

hanging heavy in the fragrant air

 

This dirt tucked tight beneath my fingernails

and smeared abundantly across my children's skin

A thousand goodbyes I am needing to whisper

 

Before me lies a vast expanse of unknown blessings

as surely as behind me lies a path

of known ones

 

There is only one way to begin

and that is

with a breath

The Shape of Things

It is easy to spot the abundance

of some things in my life.

What shape do you suppose courage comes in?

145/365

If I had been alone

If I had been alone,

I would have wept.

Laid myself down on that land that I love

tucked my heart tight against the ferns and wood violets
right there beside the stream

and let the tears flow

 

How is it possible to love a ground so much?

To ache with missing

the changing seasons

woodpeckers on widow makers

the way the light falls on brand new poplar leaves

 silver dollars of hope

and the smell - oh the smell

 

I was not alone.

I walked beside a soul as soothing as the heal-all plants

that grow along the path

who does not know the balm that's been applied on my chapped and tender heart

Who I love in ways that are unexplainable

and unmeasurable

but not enough

 

If I had been alone

I would have wept