Releasing a love

I took your advise Ms.Oliver

I broke my heart open

I paid attention (maybe not as much as I should have)

I was astonished (more than I've ever been before)

 

And while a giant part of me wants to rail against him,

hurl words and curses and questions and explanations

I can see that he is just surviving

Living in a world where truth

and wonder

and gentleness are foreign objects

And maybe that is what hurts the most

That love,

offered with an open and genuine heart

was an impossible gift to accept

 

As for me.

I am broke open.

I am bare and raw and more than a little sad.

But watch now- how I start this day

in kindness

 I will not close my heart again

to the rest of the world.





Why I Wake Early

84/365

Hello, sun in my face.

Hello, you who made the morning

and spread it over the fields

and into the faces of the tulips

and the nodding morning glories,

and into the windows of, even, the

miserable and the crotchety –

best preacher that ever was,

dear star, that just happens

to be where you are in the universe

to keep us from ever-darkness,

to ease us with warm touching,

to hold us in the great hands of light –

good morning, good morning, good morning.

Watch, now, how I start the day

in happiness, in kindness.

 

~ Mary Oliver ~

83/365

Reminded,

 yet again,

 at how easily the day can shift. 

 From fairly terrible to everything is all right. 

With a stone.
And it is oh so random, and unexplainable. 

But I want nothing more than to give this to the young one,

just barely a man,

 who still is hiding behind hair, and clothes, and clouds of green smoke. 

For I am fairly certain he has no idea, how loved he really is. 

Instead I slip it into my pocket. 

 Too scared,

still,

 to give up stones of love as easily as the ground.

73/365

“I tell you this
to break your heart,
by which I mean only
that it break open and never close again
to the rest of the world.”
― Mary Oliver



The Gifts They Give

 

They may never really know

the little things I treasure.

 

Marbles in the sunlight

A vintage water glass on my windowsill

Heart shaped rocks

 

These little gifts connecting us

And I hope they know that I loved them.

Love them still

 

Every beautiful soul who has stroked

the playdough of my heart

Into the shape I am.